A Wedding and A Lake.

Most people my age have been to, or been in, many weddings. I however have only been to one, and as of this weekend, been in one.

My cousin was the bride. I was a bridesmaid.

It was one of those weddings where everything felt right, and everything was beautiful. Is that every wedding? I sort of hope not.

We spent the night on the lake, at her parents house, inside a large tent containing so many friends and so much family.

I have sort of always had this thing for large gatherings of extended family. Which is extremely odd considering I can barely stand my immediate family. But there is something about aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins that just feels so right. I mean those are the people in your life that don't have to love you, but they do, and you're a family.

Regardless, the ceremony was pleasant. The reception was perfect. And it was exactly what I needed for a weekend.

On Campuses and Boredom.

It's not easy. And I don't like it.

It's not bad, honest it isn't. There are things far worse than this and I completely understand that. I have a relatively good schedule, hell I have most of Friday off. But this town? Dead. This campus? Dead.

I literally do not do anything.

Yes, there are clubs. Yes, there are sports. But c'mon, that isn't me.

I'm making friends, sort of. I have people to hang out with.

Mostly, at this point, I just miss my stuff. I miss having my own bed. I miss having my shower. I miss my people. My town, good Lord, I miss my town.

I am gonna stick out, mostly because I don't have another choice. But honestly, every single day I say, "What am I doing here? I hate this life."

I wish I didn't. I wish this didn't suck so hard.

I Am Here.

I am here.

And I don't hate it. Granted, it's day two.

I am here.

And until today, I've felt incredibly sick.

I am here.

I've had a headache the whole time.

I am here.

I happen to have made a few new friends.

I am here.

So far, the food is shit.

I am here.

I'm not leaving yet.

I know I am capable of doing this, dealing with all of this.

I know I can do this.

I have to be able to.

I am here.