Finally having a real, full, honest-to-goodness day off... that is marvelous.
Taking the time to drink my morning coffee on the back deck in the sun, with the breeze, and even a few birds... that was marvelous.
Using the day to relax, and prepare for the next two weeks. Without hurry and without stress... this is marvelous.
Miss Or No Miss
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Here I am, two weeks until competition, and it still has not completely sunken in that in two weeks I will compete to be the next Miss Vermont.
Miss Vermont 2012.
That could be me. In two weeks.
But, it could also not be me. I could lose.
As realistically as I could win, I could lose.
That is not exactly as exciting as the prospect of winning, but grounding all the same.
I know I am ready.
I have been preparing all year. I have been changing, and growing, and learning through the year. Both as Miss Washington County, and just as Rylee. I have become more confident, more secure, more sure, more happy, more me. As cheesy as it is, I have spent this year becoming the best me that I can be.
And I think she is pretty great. With or without a crown.
She is someone that took on school, instead of letting it demolish her. She is someone that has been working harder than ever before and seeing the positives, instead of just the negatives. She is making decisions that make her happy, for the right reasons, with the right people. She is just better, better than she was before.
No, I don't dance and sing. No, I'm no double zero. No, I have not competed three times before this.
But so what?
None of that makes anyone better than me, or me worse than anyone else. This competition is not about being better than a dozen other girls, not really, not to me. It is about finally being able to stand on my own two feet, with my head held high. It is about being able to look at myself and know that I have done the best that I can.
The best that I am will be presented to the judges and the audience in two weeks. Maybe that means I will become Miss Vermont. Maybe it doesn't. But either way I will have changed, grown, and learned more in this year than I have in any years previous. That has got to be more valuable than a crown.
Miss Vermont 2012.
That could be me. In two weeks.
But, it could also not be me. I could lose.
As realistically as I could win, I could lose.
That is not exactly as exciting as the prospect of winning, but grounding all the same.
I know I am ready.
I have been preparing all year. I have been changing, and growing, and learning through the year. Both as Miss Washington County, and just as Rylee. I have become more confident, more secure, more sure, more happy, more me. As cheesy as it is, I have spent this year becoming the best me that I can be.
And I think she is pretty great. With or without a crown.
She is someone that took on school, instead of letting it demolish her. She is someone that has been working harder than ever before and seeing the positives, instead of just the negatives. She is making decisions that make her happy, for the right reasons, with the right people. She is just better, better than she was before.
No, I don't dance and sing. No, I'm no double zero. No, I have not competed three times before this.
But so what?
None of that makes anyone better than me, or me worse than anyone else. This competition is not about being better than a dozen other girls, not really, not to me. It is about finally being able to stand on my own two feet, with my head held high. It is about being able to look at myself and know that I have done the best that I can.
The best that I am will be presented to the judges and the audience in two weeks. Maybe that means I will become Miss Vermont. Maybe it doesn't. But either way I will have changed, grown, and learned more in this year than I have in any years previous. That has got to be more valuable than a crown.
Update...
Saturday, June 16, 2012
I am exhausted.
That is it. That is where I am at. I am working all day, every day.
I am on my feet. I am moving. And holy moly, I am working.
But here is the thing, Miss Vermont is in just two weeks.
So I'm also nervous, and anxious, and excited. While being exceptionally exhuasted. Which does not leave time for much. Much writing, much relaxing, much more than falling into bed as soon as my day is over.
That, I don't love.
However, in two weeks. Just two. I will be making one more change. A big one. Win or lose.
So, here I am.
Tired.
Nervous.
Excited.
Giddy.
A bit dehydrated.
But totally stoked.
And thinking that so far this summer is so not what I had expected, and trying to be so okay with that.
So, how much of that made sense? Ramble much? Maybe. Definitely.
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