I have, actually, quite a few. But in all fairness, I almost always have a lot of things on my mental to-do list. This month is just one more reason to add to that list.
First, and foremost: 1. Quit Beating Myself Up.
I am my hardest critic. (Aren't we all?) Before something happens, or I say something. After something has transpired, or I've made what feels like the dumbest mistake. I am so...relentlessly critical of myself. This year, while I know I will not be able to stop completely, I will ease up, slow down, work harder to be more gentle. It'll be good, I know it.
2. Keep Taking Chances.
I keep pleasantly surprising myself with the choices I have been making socially, academically, and...just in general. They have been making me happy, and excited, and hopeful, and I could not ask for more.
3. Keep Creating The Body I Want
This journey, starting more than two years ago now, has been...challenging, but so rewarding. In so many ways. It is not always easy to stick to, or see the results. But they are there, and I would love it if they stuck around.
4. Don't Give Up
I don't care how stupid, cliche, ridiculous, or unoriginal that sounds. I won't give up. I am going to keep going. I am going to keep fighting to stay above the water. I am going to keep working for my grades harder than I ever have. I am going to keep carving out this Miss. I am going to keep being this me that I love. No matter what.
5. Write.
2011 was hard on this writer-girl. Hard. Draining. Arguably, that will only make this year better, fill it with more potential, more content, more ideas. I live through my writing. It is who I am. And instead of letting the negatives cause a pause in what I can write, I am going try and let them fuel it. We'll see.
I know none of this is going to be easy. It hasn't ever been before. I know I am going to complain, and somethings will be left unfinished. But I spent a lot of time hoping things would change, and wishing for things to come around. I can't keep up that kind of life. It's boring, and just too sad. So here we go, 2012. With resolutions and high hopes.
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